Grocery shopping when you are married is not simply just shopping for food. It can be a highly stressful, dramatic dance if you let it. However, it can likewise be a lot of fun!
Shopping for groceries when you're single is truly unremarkable. You write down a list, head to the store, get a couple of things and you're on your joyful way. When you're hitched, however, shopping for groceries turns into an all-devouring, endless errand.
You and your life partner will find yourselves normally contending over the basic grocery budget, not seeing eye-to-eye on the meaning of quality produce and messaging each other endlessly. Beneath, we've gathered some hilariously relatable tweets that precisely sum up the experience of shopping for food after marriage:
I sent my husband to the grocery store for fresh parsley, he came home with a snowblower and a jar of dehydrated onions. Marriage is delightful.— 🎭ᑌᖇᔕᑌᒪᗩ🎭 (@3sunzzz) January 3, 2019
My wife’s superpower is feigning the inability to get simple items from the store, ensuring that I do all the grocery shopping. It’s ingenious.— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) February 3, 2019
[grocery store]— Josh (@iwearaonesie) October 12, 2017
me *hits back of wife's leg with the cart* Funny running into you h-
wife: Go wait in the car
Someone drew doughnuts on the bottom of the grocery list— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 5, 2016
My wife thought it was cute so she bought them
She doesn't need to know it was me pic.twitter.com/qmdoCc9sDO
My wife asked me to get up early tomorrow to pick something up from the grocery store.— Boyd's Backyard™ (@TheBoydP) September 17, 2017
Wife (the next morning): You actually did that?
Grocery store is giving out wine and beer samples so the wife and I rented a movie on our iPad and are chilling for the night in aisle 18.— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) November 4, 2017
I can do an entire grocery shopping trip in the time it takes my wife to decide which bag of avocados to buy.— Kent Graham (@KentWGraham) March 3, 2017
Magically, my wife texted me more items for the grocery list once I was in the parking lot having completed the initial grocery list.— Dad Bits (@DadBits) February 5, 2019
When your husband volunteers to help put away groceries, it's so he can hide the brownies and doesn't have to share.— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) September 15, 2015
Wife: Want to go grocery shopping with me?— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 19, 2018
Me: I'm kind of busy.
Me: My schedule just opened up.
Just regaled my wife with a story about a grocery coupon that should have worked but didn’t but then the guy got it to work after all.— Distracted Dad (@Distracted_Dad) February 28, 2018
Don’t tell me the spark is gone.
Marriage is just texting each other "Do we need anything from the grocery store?" a bunch of times until one of you dies.— Daniel Carrillo (@DanielRCarrillo) July 15, 2015
Wow, you forget to buy beer a few days in a row and suddenly your husband is offering to do the grocery shopping, my plan is working, guys.— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) February 2, 2017
Wife: [reaches for the fries on my plate]— Oops!...I Dad It Again (@NewDadNotes) August 16, 2018
Me: [slides grocery divider between plates]
Wife: you said you didn’t take that from the store.
Me: and you said you didn’t want any fries but here we are.
My wife and I both separately went to the grocery store hungry, and now we have 25 lbs of snacks— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) September 11, 2017
*spends 45 minutes at grocery store trying to pick out a good tomato*— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) May 23, 2018
[back at home]
WIFE: they didn’t have any better tomatoes?
Me: I’m in charge of the shopping cart when my wife and I go to the grocery store— Chad Read (@squirrel74wkgn) October 7, 2018
Cashier: ...why are you telling me this?
My husband has texted me 12 times from the grocery store with questions. He's only made it to aisle 4. Pray for me.— 🎭ᑌᖇᔕᑌᒪᗩ🎭 (@3sunzzz) April 4, 2018
*asks grocery store manager to write a note telling my wife that I looked everywhere but couldn’t find the ice cream she wanted*— Josh (@iwearaonesie) May 22, 2018
Me: I spent HALF as much as YOU usually do on groceries.— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) January 9, 2016
[2 hours later]
Me: We have nothing to eat in this house.