Marriage is not always a bed of roses - in fact, it pricks really hard sometimes. And, these tweets hilariously showcase that with incredible accuracy!
In all honesty, our ancestors didn't really want us to be happy, so they created the concept of marriage. Just kidding! Or are we? However, the struggle is absolutely real. From the never-ending bills, the grocery list to the constant complaints from your significant other with regards to your regressive immaturity, your unsanitary habits, and the kids (oh! don't even get us started on that!)
It's quite a rollercoaster of emotions out there - agreed! But in fact, all those who have yet to embark on it or all those who are already caught in it might want to check out these hilarious tweets by seasoned marriage experts who seemed to have learned all the bittersweet truths of married life the hard way. See for yourself:
My husband won't let me pick up wood at Home Depot because he doesn't want it scratched or bent but I can take care of his children daily.— bubble girl (@JessObsess) June 20, 2017
My wife said she hides snacks from me so she can put them out when guests come over, in case you were wondering why I invited you here tonight.— The Dad Briefs™ (@SladeWentworth) February 10, 2019
WHY WON'T THOSE FOOTBALL PLAYERS LISTEN TO THE EXCELLENT ADVICE MY HUSBAND IS SCREAMING AT THEM?— JPo (@Peauxtassium) September 9, 2018
me: Have you seen my keys?— Josh (@iwearaonesie) January 8, 2019
wife: No. Did you check your pocket?
wife: Both of them?
me [mocking] "Both of them?”
me *finds keys* No
Wife: is that what you’re wearing?— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) February 3, 2019
Me: I guess not.
Before marriage, I would sit at stop lights for hours because I had no one to tell me the light had changed to green.— Chad Read (@squirrel74wkgn) February 8, 2019
My husband ate all the cookies and called it a snacksccident. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.— Lisabug BBQJonze (@Lisabug74) February 2, 2019
i married for love— Cameron Esposito (@cameronesposito) February 7, 2018
but the obvious side benefit of having someone around to find my glasses cannot be ignored
We put new shelves in the garage and have talked for 3 days about what a game changer they are. This is peak marriage.— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) February 22, 2019
Wife: I just vacuumed so don't make a mess— *sigh*clops (@DadZZZasleep) April 16, 2019
Daughter: Yeah, don't make a mess dad
Me: I'm not the one she was *drops sandwich* dammit
wife *opens First Aid kit*— Josh (@iwearaonesie) January 23, 2019
wife: Why would you fill it with Cheetos?
me [bleeding] It was funny at the time
Instead of my husband asking me what I want to watch, he asks me what I want to fall asleep to & that pretty much sums up a marriage.— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) January 27, 2019
Wife: I want you to rake the yard today.— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) November 29, 2018
Me: Consider it done.
Wife: I thought you were going to rake?
Me: I thought you were going to consider it done?
Being a husband means that sometimes you are required to answer questions like, “What’s the name of the guy from the place who does the thing?”— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) June 30, 2018
Wife: Do you want to come home at lunchtime today for a quickie?— Super Mark (@supermarkusa) February 5, 2019
Me: It’s pronounced quiche.
Wife: ugh I feel fat— Melvin of York (@MelvinofYork) February 2, 2019
Me: please take your hands off me
[50 years from now]— Jessie (@mommajessiec) February 25, 2019
*visiting husband’s grave*
“I wanted to let you know that after all these years I’ve finally figured out where I want to go to eat.”
Talked with another dad about how much I hate shopping with my wife at Old Navy for 10 minutes before I realized that he was a mannequin.— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) February 28, 2019
My husband just bought ice cream with raisins. So, that was a fun marriage.— smerobin (@smerobin) March 12, 2019
Day 2,098 of marriage: Husband still doesn’t know where the Tupperware lives.— Mummy (@ThatMummyLife) March 2, 2019